Brassard Determined to Replace Zibanejad - On and Off the Ice

by Rob Poirier (@RobFeature)

On July 18th, the Ottawa Senators traded Mika Zibanejad to the New York Rangers in exchange for center Derick Brassard. The move was meant to signify that, after a string of disappointing seasons, the Senators were serious about returning to their winning ways.

Marc Methot draws criticism after controversial "Sticks Out" salute against Maple Leafs

by Capital Gains (@Capital_Gains65)

Nearly every team in the NHL has adopted the tradition of saluting the crowd following a victory on home ice. However, for Senators this season, they will be saluting after every game; Win or lose, home or away, it doesn't matter to them.

The Sens following their preseason game against the Maple Leafs

Shots Fired

After Ottawa's 6-3 exhibition victory over Toronto on Monday night, the Senators kept with their promise to salute the crowd. Even though the game took place in a neutral town like Halifax, the "home team" Leafs were extremely offended by the Senators' gesture, and spoke their minds after the game. "It's a disgrace" Leafs forward Brooks Laich reiterated a few times. "I went bananas when I saw them do it."

Via Skype, Milan Michalek, a former Senator, blamed it on the lack of leadership following his departure from Ottawa last season. "I would have never allowed this type of monkey business if I were still on the team."

Rookie Mitch Marner was very surprised and angered by the Senators' actions, in what was his first confrontation with the Sens. "They just brought guerrilla warfare to the Battle of Ontario. We'll see if they're still saluting come April."

In the Senators' dressing room, all eyes and fingers were pointed to Marc Methot. Although Methot didn't play, he was still the brains behind this ordeal. Methot started by apologizing to the offended Maple Leafs, but noted that they'll understand once they hear his side of the story. "Believe me, they'll understand. They will. I bet they'll start doing it themselves once they realize that this season, the salute is more than just a thank you to the fans. It's also a salute to an old friend, a friend who meant a lot to all of us."

"#tbt with the boyz" - Instagram: marcmeth3t

Sticks Out For Harambe

Prior to the salute in Halifax, Methot had been vocal on social media when it came to the infamous Cincinnati Zoo gorilla, Harambe. If you have no idea who I'm talking about, then you should be ashamed of yourself. Marc's words, not mine.

As mentioned, Methot has taken to social media to acknowledge his dear friend. From his own tweets, to liking some 14-A tweets, to even changing his profile picture. Marc has gone all in.

This part is not a joke.

In his post game interview, Methot also added that he doesn't believe the meaning behind the salute is a slight to the fans. "I don't think it's a takeaway from the fans at all. We're playing for them, and we're playing for him. Some people say you wouldn't notice the difference in the salute, but those people are wrong."

Methot finished the interview with an inspiring statement. "He was more than just a gorilla in a poorly built exhibit. He was also my friend. So if you play hockey, win or lose, make sure to salute after the game, because he would have done the same for you. Sticks out for Harambe."

A stall left vacant out of respect.

bRian's bOdycheckz S2E1: Sens Season Predictions

by bRian5or6

It's been a long summer for fans everywhere, but after a long off-season, it's finally back: bRian's bOdycheckz. Grab a beer, quit your job, put your feet up, and watch the season premiere right NOW OR ELSE I'LL FREAK.

A Guide to Watching the Ottawa Senators at the World Cup of Hockey

by Bonk's Mullet (@BonksMullet)

Every time an international hockey tournament rolls around, there's a conflicting feeling when Team Canada takes on one of our beloved Sens. Sure, Canada is the best country in the world and all other countries can kiss my maple-syrup-coated ass, but I've always found Sens players to feel more "local" than someone like, say, human-swamp-thing Corey Perry.

Corey Perry, "product" of Mike Babcock's "system."

Whether it was rooting for Hossa and Chara on Team Slovakia, trying to feel happy for Alfie when Sweden won gold in '06, or half-heartedly trying to care about whichever country it was that Milan Michalek was from, Sens fans have had a long history of rooting for their international foes.

EXCLUSIVE: Sens Considering 'Nuclear Option'

by Joe Boughner (@McLlwainsWorld)

It's weird that they're still using notebooks with the SNES logo but pictures on the internet never lie.

Documents uncovered by the Bonk's Mullet Research Division show the Ottawa Senators have drafted a top secret "nuclear option" for franchise success should the team fail to go on a lengthy playoff run in 2016-17.

The plan would see the Ottawa Senators petition the NHL for expansion team status, despite celebrating their 25th anniversary this season - a move the plan's authors admit is "alarmingly lacking in precedent."

"Based on the success of Ottawa's professional football and baseball expansion teams, we believe reverting to expansion status is the fastest way to get into the Stanley Cup Final," the plan states.

The Ottawa Champions earned a berth in the Can-Am baseball league's final series this week in the franchise's second year of existence. This follows a Grey Cup appearance by the CFL's Ottawa REDBLACKS in their second season last year.

The Ottawa Senators made their only Stanley Cup Final appearance nearly a decade ago and have missed the playoffs entirely twice in the last three years.

The plans included some tidbits about who the team planned on drafting, were an expansion draft to be approved.

"Of course we'd pick Erik Karlsson first overall. What type of moronic team would give up their charismatic, offensively skilled, Norris-winning defenceman?"

The plan's authors highlighted several risks in the plan, though, including uncertainty about how a franchise with 45 players currently under contract could participate in an expansion draft and concerns about the $500 million expansion fee.

"In our interview with Mr. Melnyk, he was optimistic the funds could be raised" the report says. "When pressed for details he said 'we're due to break and renegotiate our arena naming rights again, aren't we? What's that Tesla guy up to?'"

"When asked about merchandising revenue associated with a new logo and sweater, though, Mr. Melnyk was dismissive, muttering something unintelligible about just springing for new banners."

REVIEW: EA Sports' NHL 17

by Rob Poirier (@RobFeature)

It's almost here! The most special day of hockey's long offseason! That one beautiful day when jocks and nerds can come together as one and collectively kiss their consoles/each other! That's right: I'm talkin' about EA Sports' annual NHL video game release day! And here in '16, that video game is NHL 17 (?).

Four Things to Watch as the Senators Open Training Camp

by Joe Boughner (@McLlwainsWorld)

The wait is almost over, Ottawa Senators fans. Training camp is just a few weeks away and the team at Bonk's Mullet is preparing for another season of wall-to-wall coverage of your hometown heroes in red, white, black, heritage black, heritage white, a slightly different shade of red, and... gold?

So as we all bid adieu to the stupid summer and prepare to go pasty and pale in our basements, eyes glued to our televisions, here are the four biggest storylines set to play out at the Canadian Tire Centre and sometimes Sensplex if Disney on Ice needs the rink or whatever!

1) Who's on First?

No, not first base, silly. Gawd, you're so silly! Thinking I meant first base. This is a hockey blog, you big silly. *Twirls hair around finger* You're such a big silly!

No, I mean who is on the ice first. As in, the first line. And I specifically mean at the centre position. Though, admittedly, that part was left pretty vague. I guess you could say I like a little mystery in my life. *Twists cherry stem into a knot in my mouth*

*Coughs as the cherry stem goes into windpipe*

Kyle Turris has been the de facto number one centreman since Jason Spezza left town but newly-acquired Derick Brassard is expected to make a push for the crown.

That's kind of all there is to say about that, actually. Now you see why I padded it with some harmless flirtation. I mean, they both play centre. And they're both pretty good, apparently. So one of them is going to be the first-line centre and one is going to be the second-line centre. That will be decided in training camp, at least until the coach changes his mind again after the season starts.

Drama!

It's funny because that's Johnny Drama from Entourage. You guys remember Entourage? It was terrible. 

2) Who's on... Sixth?

Ottawa's top four defencemen will be longtime stalwarts and fan favourites Erik Karlsson, Marc Methot, Cody Ceci, and then also Dion Phaneuf will be there. After that, though, things get a little bit interesting.

Chris Wideman played 64 games in his first NHL season and should have an inside track at the 5th defenceman position, but who will be skating beside him is yet to be determined. Will Captain Grit, Mark Borowiecki, be an everyday player? Is Mike Kostka really our sixth-best option god help us all? Or will a prospect like Thomas Chabot or Fredrik Claesson grab on to a roster position with some strong preseason play?

I'mma just leave this here.

You probably expected a joke somewhere in this section. But our defensive depth is no laughing matter, folks.

Let's move on.

3) Who will be sacrificed to Æsbiorn: The Reaver of Souls?

One possible down note for Sens fans at this otherwise glorious time, it's Ottawa's turn to make the annual NHL sacrifice to Æsbiorn: The Reaver of Souls and, as per the concessions made in the last round of CBA talks, this year is the first year that it's Æsbiorn's option. That means the Senators don't just get to offer up some late round draft pick from seven years ago like most teams have done. 

Some have speculated that the Norse-god-turned-soul-reaver may be up for a challenge, leading to suggestions that Curtis Lazar may be on the block, though others have argued that Lazar's overwhelming goodness and purity of being may be too much for the reaver to take. Only time will tell. 

Æsbiorn is expected to make his choice known as part of NBC's first Wednesday Night Rivalry broadcast of the season, brought to you by GEICO.

4) Who?

While most Sens fans are undoubtedly pumped to see the likes of EK65, BFnR and ... Hoffy(?), this year's camp will feature the likes of Tom Pyatt and Mike Blunden making their debuts in Sens sweaters along with AHL additions from last year like Phil Varone and Ryan Rupert. And don't forget defencemen Macoy Erkamps, who is too a person that exists, and Patrick Sieloff, who will be easy to spot since he'll be wearing the weight of Jason Spezza's legacy on his back!

Granted, none of these guys carry the pedigree of Eric O'Dell, but at least when these guys lead the Belleville Senators on an improbable run to the Calder Cup you can say you saw them way back in the fall of '16!

Well that's that, Senators fans. Happy camping!

bRian's bOdycheckz 2016/2017 Season Promo

This year, Bonksmullet gave me a bigger budget to make some wicked videos. I even hired my own liquor man. Thank you Bonk....I never say this enough but I love you.

Stay tuned for more Bodycheckz, THE HARD HITTING SHOW THAT BRINGS YOU ALL YOUR SENS NEEDS

BREAKING: The Senators Hometown Tour Scandal

by Capital Gains

The Sens Hometown Tour was advertised to "give fans the chance to meet Senators players, participate in interactive games, win tickets to Senators home games, win prizes and more!" However, the real intention behind the tour was mistakenly revealed this afternoon.

In the past, many great accounts have fallen victim to Twitter's user experience, as it can be very difficult to differentiate between tweeting and direct messaging. It happened again earlier today—this time with the official Twitter account of the Ottawa Senators. Several tweets were sent out that seemed to be intended as direct messages to many of team's executives. The tweets have since been deleted, but luckily for you, we were able to grab screenshots of them.

Please note that we blurred the faces of the photo subjects in order to protect their identities.

The Evidence

As the pictures show, the Hometown Tour was nothing more than a scouting trip for the Ottawa Senators. Even the players were in on it, wearing hidden cameras and peppering the fans with multiple questions similar to those you see potential draft picks having to answer like, "Where are you from?", "Do you know what it means to play the game the right way?", "Define hockey culture", and "But seriously, are you from Ottawa?"

Keeping It Local

These leaked tweets confirm the ongoing rumours surrounding the Ottawa Senators and their preference for local talent. In some instances, the Senators' evaluations didn't even consider the number of goals or assists a player had in the ball hockey game, instead focusing only on the intangibles.

This mentality rooting from management has clearly made its way down to the locker room, and was on display during Mark Borowiecki's successful summer run as a Whose Line Is It Anyway? cast member.

It Could Be You

At first glance, the Senators' obsession with local talent may seem like a horrible situation, but there are actually some big winners coming out of this, and The Results May Surprise You!

The first winner is you, the fans, sitting at home wondering if you will ever make it to the NHL. These tweets clearly reveal that if you were born or have resided in, near, or around the Ottawa area, you are on the Senators' radar. And for those of you who don't fit that criteria, the final tweet pictured below proves that even if you are potentially driving through the Nation’s Capital, the Senators have their eyes on you.

The second winner is the Ottawa Senators. Even with the tweets mistakenly sent out, from the Senators perspective, the 6-day tour was extremely successful. Inexpensive local talent full of heart. What more could you ask for?