by Joe Boughner (@McLlwainsWorld) and his friend colleague Mike Wheeler (@TheMikeWheeler)
 |
| Later, haters! Photo by Capital Gains. |
Following in the wake of another high-profile social media shutdown in the Ottawa Senators' locker room, assistant captain Chris Neil announced that he's quitting ICQ.
Uh-oh!
"I'm done-sville with that crap," Neil explained. "I used to have good chats on there but these days it seems all I get there are offers to help African people move money around and offers for hot sex with dirty girls."
"Like, who are you guys and why are you contacting me?"
Neil figured the culprits were fans trying to get a rise out of him because of his stats or whatever.
"Trolls are going to troll, I guess, but that doesn't mean I have to sit there and take it," he explained. "Uh oh is right, stats nerds, you just lost your favourite target."
And showing his characteristic goodness in the room, Neil acknowledged he's been talking to teammates about avoiding online negativity as well.
"Mad Max (McCormick) and (Shane) Two Princes are always playing that World of Warcraft thing and they've been taking a tonne of abuse on there for being such inaccurate shots so I'm telling them it's time to shut it down," Neil noted.
"And let's be honest, it's time for (Curtis) Lazar Beam to get the hell off Club Penguin."
"Aww but I just got a sweet new puffle," responded Lazar.
General manager Bryan Murray spoke with the media regarding the organization's jettisoning of social media.
"More and more, we're encouraging our guys to stay away from this stuff. Patty Wiercioch has closed down his life hacks Pinterest board and Mika [Zibanejad] just quit iTunes Ping," he said.
"It's terrible what can happen to these young guys when they see bad stuff on the internet. We all know MacArthur's been on long-term injured reserve since reading the comments on a YouTube video. And poor Cowen's stopped going to the bathroom altogether because of the terrible stuff written in the stalls."
Murray himself is also taking a break from social media.
"In fact, I've stopped reading the message boards, myself. Every time I go to the post office, I just look away."
Captain Erik Karlsson commented poignantly on the hardships faced by those in the public eye.
"Obviously it's getting harder out there for athletes. I barely even fly my private helicopter over tropical islands anymore out of fear for what's written in the sand by castaways."
 |
| Image courtesy of Capital Gains, who blew the entire RBM budget to get this drone shot. |