Lazar "named" assistant captain in emotional, awkward lakeside ceremony

by Joe Boughner

The leadership core of the Ottawa Senators took an unexpected youthful turn yesterday, in a hastily-assembled lakeside ceremony.

"Laser Beam, get over here," long-standing assistant captain and de facto father figure Chris Phillips called out from the end of the dock at his cottage. "I've got something for you."

Curtis Lazar, the Senators' latest superstar in waiting, pulled himself out of a rubber dingy and sidled over to his adopted dad, who was waiting with a crudely-cut-out letter A made of red electrical tape.

The normally reserved Lazar was all smiles
after his promotion.

"Uh Chris? This is a bit weird, man," Lazar replied as Phillips repeatedly tried to stick the tape letter to Lazar's wet chest.

"Look Laser, I'm not going to be around for awhile. I want you to wear this."


"But doesn't the coach get to..."

"Shhhh," Phillips whispered. "You've earned it."

Phillips then pulled Lazar into one of those awkward high fives that turns into a half hug and pounded the young forward on the back with unnecessary force.

"You've earned it."

The Senators open their training camp later this month.