The Week Ahead: Metroschedule Men

by Joe Boughner and George Marshall

Hello sports fans and welcome to the weekly preview that at least one family member pundit called "something that I'll probably read in a bit." Our hometown heroes are coming off a truly Senstastic week in which they got no closer or further from any sort of clarity about just what kind of team they are by splitting their games in confusing fashion, losing to the hapless Dallas Stars but steamrolling the happerless Arizona Coyotes.

Will this week make any more sense or bring about any additional insight into our role as buyers v. sellers?

Take it Alfie!

Last week's record

• 1-1-0 (the rumours of Antoine Vermette to Ottawa have now been replaced by John Klingberg rumours).

This week's matchups

• Tuesday @ New Jersey
• Thursday vs. Washington
• Saturday vs. Columbus

Storylines to watch

This cushy schedule would be great if we weren't bad at hockey

At the end of this week, the Sens will have played five games after the All-Star break, four of which came against teams not in the playoff picture and four of which were played at home. Can you imagine how exciting that would be if Ottawa had even a remote possibility of making the playoffs?

Actually, better not to torture yourself that way. Here, watch this video of guinea pigs eating watermelon instead.

AREN'T THEY JUST THE CUTEST?

*Cough*

Sorry.

Too Many D's on the Dancefloor

Now that everyone on the Sens defence is healthy, a tough decision is looming for management. Like when you were celebrating your 10th birthday party and your parents said you could only bring 10 people but you invited 11 and now you have to make a decision which of your friends you have to cut. I've never had that problem cause I've never had 10 friends and that's why I blog on the internet. Anyways, Bryan and Co. will have to make some tough choices as we approach the deadline. Especially with Methot's pending UFA status and Phillips' current bad at hockey status.

Hey, whatever happened to Zack Smith?

There's not even a joke to make here, this is a legitimate question. I was going to sit down and write a thing about Legwand looking nervously at the waiver wire as the Sens' return to mostly-full health then I realized nobody has even mentioned Smith's name in, like, months. Is he still a thing? 

Parting shots

• Statline of the week: 0 - Points for Colin Greening in his first 2 games at Bingo. Some things never change
• Imagined Sun headline of the week: "Capital Punishment!" (to run Friday morning assuming one team wins by a large margin on Thursday)
• What Sens fans will be complaining about on Twitter: Andrew Hammond not at least getting a start while Anderson's injured