by a Limited Number of Monkeys Sharing a Limited Number of Typewriters
Another week, another slate of games. We're in the doldrums here, people. The US Thanksgiving milestone has passed. Routine has set in. Christmas looms. People just aren't thinking about hockey, you know? Oh sure, we'll keep writing weekly previews. It's what our readers want and - if we're being brutally honest - it's what Mr. Bonk's Mullet himself demands. But nobody's bringing their A game this time of year.
Seriously. Our boss is a hardass, guys. He's threatened our families on more than one occasion. One time Chet tried to creatively send a "help us" message using the first letter of each line and we haven't seen the guy since.
Now on to the preview!
Stories to watch
Dec 2 @ New York Islanders
This hasn't been much of a road trip for the Sens. The excitement of the thriller in St. Louis (a game we rightly predicted would be the game of the year, we might point out) is long behind us and after a couple of bed-crapping performances in Florida Sens fans will be glad to see the end of this particular roadie. The only silver lining is that the trip ends against the perennial sad sacks of the historic Glen Metropolitan division on Long Island.
*Frantic whispers*
Oh wait, the Islanders are good now? Crap.
Ok well, at least after watching the likes of Sean Bergenheim and Alex Killorn blow by our defence this time we'll at least get to see bonafide superstars like John Tavares, Kyle Okposo and Cory Conacher make our guys look terrible.
*Frantic whispers*
Oh wait, the Islanders are good now? Crap.
Ok well, at least after watching the likes of Sean Bergenheim and Alex Killorn blow by our defence this time we'll at least get to see bonafide superstars like John Tavares, Kyle Okposo and Cory Conacher make our guys look terrible.
Yea. That Cory Conacher.
Dec 4 vs New York Islanders
Fun fact: Home-and-home series are known as "widowmakers" in the hockey satire community. You blow your proverbial load on the first game and have no jokes left for game two. Seriously guys, what's the storyline here? Matt Carkner's homecoming? Knowing we might get to see Chad "Don't Call Me Ochocinco" Johnson in the twine tent? Hey look at those straws. Let me just grasp at them!
We're big Sens fans here at RBM so it pains us to say this but if there's a game to show up a bit late to, this is it. The Islanders in early December are never going to be a big draw but throw in the inevitable let down that comes with the first game home after a road trip? Season ticket holders are probably going to be offloading this one so get a cheap seat on StubHub and show up in time for the second.
You won't be missing much.
We're big Sens fans here at RBM so it pains us to say this but if there's a game to show up a bit late to, this is it. The Islanders in early December are never going to be a big draw but throw in the inevitable let down that comes with the first game home after a road trip? Season ticket holders are probably going to be offloading this one so get a cheap seat on StubHub and show up in time for the second.
You won't be missing much.
Dec 6 @ Pittsburgh
Some of you have been complaining about Ottawa's defensive abilities this year, well this is the game you've been waiting for! There will be points in this game where you think you're at a Subway station in the Antarctic, cause all you'll see are Penguins going through Ottawa d-men like turnstiles (seriously though, how cool would that be to watch).
At least this game is on Saturday so you can always choose to drink so much you forget it and deal with it on Sunday instead. Maybe not the best way to deal with your problems but what do we know, we're not doctors.
At least this game is on Saturday so you can always choose to drink so much you forget it and deal with it on Sunday instead. Maybe not the best way to deal with your problems but what do we know, we're not doctors.
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| An action shot of the Sens defence. |
Dec 7 vs Vancouver
Ah now that's better. Classic rivalry game. These two cities have had a hockey hate on for one another since the early part of the last century - a rivalry that never wavered even during four six or so decades that neither city even had a team. From the early days of Frank Nighbor and Cyclone Taylor to modern day legends like Sami Salo and Peter Schaefer, hockey has pulled these two cities together despite the 4,500 km gap.
Will BC boy Curtis Lazar finally dent the net against his (presumed) childhood heroes, the Sedins? Will provincial counterpart Kyle Turris go on a tear? Will Patrick Weircioch actually dress for this game?
Only time will tell. Specifically the 60 minutes of time that the teams spend playing hockey against one another.
Will BC boy Curtis Lazar finally dent the net against his (presumed) childhood heroes, the Sedins? Will provincial counterpart Kyle Turris go on a tear? Will Patrick Weircioch actually dress for this game?
Only time will tell. Specifically the 60 minutes of time that the teams spend playing hockey against one another.
Wrap up
- Current record: 10-9-4
- Team injuries: Methot? Maybe?
- Fancy stat of the week: 27 (minutes spent in a collective panic when EK65 took a maintenance day)