LEAKED: What the dads thought of their road trip

by Joe Boughner

There are perks to living within view of the Canadian Tire Centre. First and foremost, of course, is the ability to walk to games. A close second, however, is that the mighty winds of Kanata often blow directly from the CTC to my doorstep, providing me with a steady supply of partially-deflated thundersticks and - occasionally - a stray piece of mail.

This week's bounty included the usual: rejection letters from Methot's agent, Murray's latest copy of The Low Down to Hull and Back Again (the Outaouais' favourite news source!) and some Costco coupons. But as I was dumping it into my blue bin I saw a plain envelope addressed, in pen, to Mr. Melnyk with no return address.

<BuzzfeedVoice>You'll never believe what was inside!</BuzzfeedVoice>
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"The Dads"

c/o Mr. Parri Ceci

5 Cody Ceci Way 

Orleans, ON - K5K 5K5

October 28, 2014

Mr. Eugene Melnyk

Ottawa Senators Hockey Club

Canadian Tire Centre

1000 Palladium Drive

Ottawa, ON, K2V 1A5

Dear Mr. Melnyk,

Thank you once again for inviting us to take part in the annual "Father-Son Roadtrip" with your hockey club. 

Right off the top we want to apologize for the confusion at the hotel in Chicago. In hindsight it was silly of us to assume the club was covering our expenses. Your presentation entitled "Economic Realities of Running a Small-Market Hockey Club and Also a Failing Pharmaceutical Company" was enlightening in this regard and I assure you many of us have already written to the commissioner of the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Commission using the template you provided. 

Good luck with that casino!

"You guys could go explore Columbus if you want."
"Nah, we're good here."

And since we're into the apologies, we also want to unreservedly apologize for what you called the "ungrateful whining" of some of the more veteran dads. After all, how many times can someone really go to Florida before one gets bored of the sun, surf and warmth, right? Many of us developed a real affinity for the rust belt over the past week and you and your team deserve credit for that. 

So you aren't left with a sense of doom and gloom, we asked the group to share the highlights of the trip. Here are a few of the highlights:

• "The team meals! They have some weird fountain drinks in the US (Cherry Coke?!) and it was really kind of Mr. Melnyk to give us his Subway Club Rewards card to use."
• "Spending quality time with my boy. It was just like taking him to hockey games when he was a wee kid. Except instead of stopping for timbits and a hot chocolate, we go to Starbucks and my son asks me to wait outside so I don't embarrass him."
• "Who knew Columbus had SO. MANY. SAM'S CLUB STORES."
• "How come Curtis' dad got to play? I'm hoping that opportunity is extended to all the fathers next year."
• Killar ? Jag tror att jag missade flyg killarna . Jag är fortfarande i Columbus . Kan någon skicka resecheckar ? (Note: Sorry Mr. Melnyk, none of us speaks Swedish but this is from Mika's dad. Maybe he can translate for you?)

Once again, Mr. Melnyk, thank you for this incredible opportunity. I've taken the liberty of attaching a few travel brochures for California just in case you need ideas for next year. 

Yours sincerely,

"The Dads"