It Could Be Worse: You Could Be A Sharks Fan (Because I'm tired of talking about the Oilers)

By George Marshall

I started this column with the goal of writing about a team that had a particularly rough couple of weeks. I knew that some teams might show up more than once this season and I was prepared for that. But this is only my fourth post for "It Could Be Worse" and Edmonton threatened to make its second appearance already. I know it's dry in Alberta, but I doubt there will be a drought any time soon due to the constant downpour of tears from Oiler fans.

At least he got his stuff back (Courtesy: Matty Go Sens)

So I'm just gonna leave you with this and move on to a team that had a better week than the Oilers but not by much: The San Jose Sharks.

These guys have a 10-10-4 record that's been described as "pretty terrible" by Sharks fans and has led to some speculation on Todd McLellan's job security. They recently had a 6 game stretch against Florida, Buffalo, Columbus, Carolina, Arizona and Calgary. You should either come out of that stretch with 2 wins or 1 Connor McDavid. They came out with neither. On the bright side, they're now the proud owners of a streak which involves the phrase "losing to Buffalo" which should lead to immediate disqualification from the playoffs right there.

But that is not the case. San Jose sits 5th in the Pacific division and knocking on the door of a playoff spot. With the "Unsustainable" Calgary Flames and the "Stop Screwing Around Already" Winnipeg Jets, both due for a slip down the standings, the Sharks could find themselves back in a comfortable playoff position when it's crunch time.

So what's the big deal? Oh yeah, this is the team that promised massive overhaul to their roster after their massive collapse to the Kings last year in the playoffs and they surprised us by...

...

...wait for it...

...

Adding John Scott.

Yes, That John Scott (Courtesy: thehockeywriters.com)

Ok, so they didn't do really do anything. In fact, they probably made things worse.

But it wasn't for lack of trying. The Sharks seemed pretty set on moving Thornton and/or Marleau, even to go so far as putting Thornton with 4th line wingers... It worked with Spezza right?

Hanson-Thornton-Scott

In the end, both players elected to stay with the organization and that may be a good thing. I doubt you can find many players out there as good as Thornton or Marleau anyways.

The main reason people have their fingers near the panic button in San Jose is because of how good they have been in the regular season and how that same success hasn't translated to the playoffs. Fans want more and more from this team.

I'm not saying the fanbase is spoiled but I am a Sens fan so any team that spends over 60 million on their roster seems pretty privileged to me. And with this privilege comes the heightened expectations, which always leads to frustration when your team underperforms.

It makes you wonder if Ottawa is doing the right thing: constantly lowering our expectations so any sliver of success looks like a miracle (the Blues game for example). In this case, things could be worse, relatively speaking.

And one more thing: Jesus Christ Edmonton, get your shit together!

Report: Alfredsson Signs One Day Contract to Retire as a New York Islander

by Mike Wheeler

The newest member of the New York Islanders, Daniel Alfredsson, announces his retirement. Photo courtesy of Matty Go Sens

Over the past week, it has become clear that former Ottawa Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson's playing career is behind him. Rumours of his retirement have been circulating recently with most speculating that the fan-favourite was in the process of making arrangements to return to the city in which he spent most of his career to make amends and retire as an Ottawa Senator. Understandably, many were surprised when Alfredsson signed a one day contract to retire as a New York Islander.

The announcement came earlier this morning when Islanders general manager Garth Snow presented Alfredsson with the symbolic one-day contract prior to the star making official the end of his nineteen-year NHL career. Several members of the confused media asked Alfredsson why he chose to retire as an Islander. "There are a lot of things to like about this club. They're a great young team and John [Tavares] is a great leader. And I would have been really excited to play along side him or Brock Nelson or any of those guys if I weren't retiring."

Week 8 Preview: Who plays hockey on Mondays?

by Bonkie Bonk and the Mullets - Motown's hottest new doo-wop crew

Ok first of all, Monday Night Hockey? Come on, "Hockeytown." Everyone knows Mondays are for writing hilarious weekly preview articles and continuing to ignore the NFL. Anyway, looks like we just got a bushel of lemons so...

The NHL schedule makers and the RBM crew are pleased to present:

The First Ever Weekly Preview / Game Recap Hybrid!

Mmm, that's some tasty lemonade! This week the Sens play all the back-to-backs so let's see how things are going to go / have gone thus far!

Week 7 Preview: There's Only Two Games So This Was Fairly Easy To Write

by Capital Gains and Bonk's Mullet

The Sens are finally back in action this week after having a lengthy four day break. After going 1-1-1 on their Western Canadian road trip, Ottawa return home to face Nashville and St. Louis. How will the well-rested Sens fare against the Preds and Blues? Let’s find out!

Phillips' cashed in his "Free Breakfast in Bed" card that Lazar gave as first month's rent.

Stories to watch

Nov 20 vs Nashville

Nashville heads in to Ottawa having beaten the Maple Leafs 9-2 in their last outing. There is a rumour going around that a tribute video may be shown before the game along with a standing ovation, honouring the Predators for their accomplishments. Reports also indicate that Erik Karlsson will let Predators captain, Shea Weber, win the ceremonial faceoff. David Legwand will be dropping the puck. Is there anything Legwand can’t do?

Curtis Lazar is out of the lineup tonight after sustaining an injury in practice. Who hurt Lazar is still yet to be determined, however, based on the expected lines for tonight’s game, the culprit list has been narrowed down to two suspects; Mika Zibanejad and Colin Greening.

Ottawa's lineup was so brilliantly analyzed by James at Welcome To Your Karlsson Years that we dare not touch it anymore. We also dare not touch James, because I wouldn't be surprised if he vomited all over himself when writing that post.

Nov 22 vs St. Louis

The Sens' first afternoon game of the season!!!

St. Louis is off to a strong start to their season, sitting atop the Western Conference. With players like Maxim Lapierre, Carl Gunnarsson, Steve Ott and Brian Elliot, it's no surprise they're doing so well. Wait... what?

The Blues have a different looking team since the Sens played them last year. No Halak, no Polak, no Roy and most importantly, no Chris Stewart (whom Bruce Garrioch assures us is coming to Ottawa any day now, as of March 2014). Instead, St. Louis has former Avalanche, Paul Stastny, former Leaf, Carl Gunnarsson, former not NHLer Jake Allen, and former person I didn't know existed, Jori Lehtera.

Lehtera, Jaden Schwartz and that-guy-we-could-have-picked-in-the-first-round-but-instead-we-traded-for-David-Rundblad-whom-we-later-exchanged-for-Kyle-Turris-so-it-doesn't-seem-quite-as-bad-in-hindsight are currently one of the top lines in the league. Leht's hope the Sens' defensenko is able to stop this line from scoring on Saturday. Oh shoot, missed one, uh...Eugene Melnyk wears a t-schwirt and schwartz at Bert's Bart. Nailed it.

Wrap up

• Current record: 8-5-4, which is totally 3 games above .500 according to Gary Bettman
• Team injuries: Methot (back); Lazar (cheek muscles)
• Fancy stat of the week: Upwards of 200 cm of snow fell on Buffalo this week. Unfortunately, that’s not the type of CM Buffalo wants falling into its arms.

Have a good week!

Methot extension talks stall due to "sleeveless jersey" demands

by Mike Wheeler

Marc Methot looking good in his new jersey. Photo courtesy of Matty Go Sens.

The Ottawa Senators are in the middle of a very public contract negotiation with injured star defenceman Marc Methot. In September, Methot's agent Larry Kelly stated that the two sides were only $300,000 away from reaching an agreement. While this doesn't seem like much of a hurdle to overcome in the context of a typical NHL contract, new information is coming forward that seems to indicate the two sides are further apart than ever. But it's not because of money, the Senators are having a hard time meeting Methot's other demands which include a new sleeveless jersey.

It Could Be Worse: You Could Be A Blue Jackets Fan

by George Marshall

When we look at the bottom of the Eastern Conference Standings there are no surprises. We see Buffalo, then we see Carolina, then we- Wait, What? Columbus! What are you doing here?

That's right, #Lumbus is in the #Basement and is this week's feature for It Could Be Worse.

Let me take you back to that time Colin Greening scored the double OT winner to beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in the 2nd round of the playoffs. Man, we turned on that guy fast.

Speaking of being in the playoffs and losing to the Penguins, the Columbus Blue Jackets did both of those things last year and looked like a promising darkhorse coming into this season. And speaking of Colin Greening, the Blue Jackets also have a colour in their name! Wow!

He will now be known as Colin NavyBlueing... Get it?

Lumbus only made one significant move in the off-season, making a big upgrade in the GRIT department by acquiring Scott Hartnell from the Flyers for RJ Umberger. Jerry D'Amigo was also a key addition except for the fact that he isn't. Heading into the season their roster looked something like this:

• Vezina winner and celebrated artist Sergei Bob Rossky in net
• Star Center Ryan Johansen up front. A Tyler Seguin type of player making Milan Michalek type money.
• When I Googled "Columbus Blue Jackets Star Defenceman" Kris Russel, then Aaron Rome showed up, so I'm guessing their defense is bad.

Coming into the year, I had them at 4th in the Metro but they've spent the past couple weeks losing 9 in a row and find themselves dead last in the Metro instead.

Why Is That?

Well, it definitely has something to do with injuries.

Losing Bobrovsky has been the biggest blow to the Jackets and Curtis McElhinney has not been lights out as his replacement, unless you mean he's turning the lights out on their playoffs aspirations. This has really driven home the benefit of having two capable NHL-ready goaltenders, especially if those two goalies happen to be disguising the crippling defensive problems of everyone else in your lineup as well as the questionable player usage and overall inadequacy that comes with a roster forced to linger near the cap floor because the owner is either trying to prove a point or, more likely, is using the minimal amount of revenue to fund other fruitless ventures like a casino. What was I talking about?

Besides Bobrovsky, the Jackets have lost some other players to injury in the young season. Here's a look at their IR:

• Nathan Horton - He's considering career-ending surgery due to his back issues which is a really tough situation for the 29 year old.
• Artem Anisimov - Suffered an upper body injury after being hit by the dirtiest player in the league (At least that's what a Habs fan told me) Erik Gryba.
• Brandon Dubinsky - Despite being on the IR, he travelled to Washington with the team on Tuesday for a particular reason. Light up the "Doobie"nsky bro.
• Mark Letestu - Also injured while playing against the Senators.Thus furthering our reputation as talentless thugs.
• Ryan Murray - He's been on and off the IR due to a knee injury and had to suffer the fate of sitting in the press box while his team lost both games of a back-to-back against Carolina.
• Cody Goloubef - Who?

With Nick Foligno also missing some time after running into an official and Matt Calvert & Jack Skille both day-to-day, the Jackets have been very banged up this year.

With the Islanders improving their back end and the Capitals performing well under a new system, the Jackets seem like a team that could very well slip out of the playoffs, and with the tough luck on the injury front (especially with Bobrovsky) maybe this shouldn't be as much of a surprise.

What now?

Well, they're too good a team to be in the McDavid sweepstakes by the end of the year, but a losing streak like this has knocked teams out of the playoff picture before. Odds are they end up the worst spot in the league - the dreaded "No Man's Land."

Sidenote: Is it just me or does everyone think it's ridiculous that being 9th or 10th in a conference is somehow worse that finishing last? Why are teams penalized for trying to succeed? Maybe the league should do something about that...

Of course it's way too early to be talking about playoffs now but when the phrase "Only Buffalo has..." is applied to you, you're in trouble. That phrase may have been applied to the Sens a couple times this season but at least our record doesn't show it... yet. It could be worse.

Too Many Cookes (Sens Parody)

by Capital Gains

Just when you thought you finally got the "Too Many Cooks" theme song out of your head, we go and make this. Sit back, enjoy, and remember, it's okay if you don't understand anything that's happening.

(Here's the YouTube link, because video embedding is pretty terrible on our mobile site.)

Week 6 Preview: Pretend we made a clever Pet Shop Boys pun here

by Dr. Flappy and the Sunshine Sextet

It's been said that life is peaceful there, in the open air where the skies are blue. So after a crazy-long homestand, the boys in red and black are headed west (not to be confused with the REDBLACKS, who've all gone home after their debut season ended last week. Bonk's Mullet: Your source for several-day-old CFL scoops). 

Put the kids to bed, set the PVR for Blue Nuit and put on a pot of coffee, Sens fans, we're looking at Hockey After Dark this week - west coast style.

Stories to watch

Nov 11 @ Vancouver

The Canucks will be entering this week with heavy hearts but, perhaps, something new to play for after the twins that defined this franchise for the better part of a decade announced that this season will be their last. That's right, sports fans, after entertaining and delighting GM Place Rogers Arena with their skill passion season after season, the most famous twin-act in sports is stepping out of the limelight. I speak, of course, of the Green Men. 

Will the Green Men find the strength to pelvicthrustupon any Sens who are sent to the box to feel shame (Neil)? Will the Canucks rally around their twin heroes? Will the Sedins also somehow be involved? Find out Tuesday in (Pacific) prime time.

Edit: Bobby Ryan just significantly raised the stakes on Tuesday night's game: 

@SensRedMen @SensMotB ok I'm in.. 1k per hometown kid Turris goals?
— Bobby Ryan (@b_ryan9) November 11, 2014

We weren't going to run another Sens Money on the Board night until December, but when Bobby Ryan pledges $1,000 per Kyle Turris goal, you run another Sens Money on the Board night. You can pledge or donate here to get in on the action.

Nov 13 @ Edmonton

These guys need a centre and a defenceman. Haaaaavvvvveee you met Zack and Patrick?

At the time of writing, the Oilers have just won two games in a row. Now, giving the schedule the ol' eyeball test, that means that Edmonton is due for six or seven consecutive losses. Good news for the Sens! Having said that, this is going to be a late game on a Thursday, so you're probably going to be asleep for most of it anyway. You've got to get up early on Friday morning and Thursdays always seem rough at work for some reason, so it's more than likely that you're not going to see a whole lot of this game. Just catch the highlights in the morning and play it off like you actually did watch it and you just thought it was an uneventful game. No one will notice.

Will the Sens face the good Oilers or the bad Oilers? Will the commentators drone on and on about "all that talent" the Oilers have up front despite not really having that much talent up front? Will Sens fans let out a collective, contented sigh when we see Benoit "There But For The Grace of MacTavish Go I" Pouliot lumber around the ice with a $4-million piano strapped to his back? Tune in Thursday to find out!

Nov 15 @ Calgary

At least one of us has got a buddy from Alberta who is a huge Flames fan (don't we all?). And said buddy summed up the team this way, heading into the year: "There's Mark Giordano and everyone else is trash." Well that pile of trash has stormed out of the gate to the tune of a 9-6-2 record, good enough for third in the Pacific Division. There hasn't been this much optimism in Calgary since a few seconds before Martin Gelinas did didn't did didn't score in game six of the 2004 Stanley Cup final.

Can Johnny "Hockey" Gaudreau continue his torrid pace in the race for the Calder? Can Jonas Hiller continue to keep both vertigo and hockey pucks at bay? Will my buddy ever stop chirping me if the Sens lose this one? Sorry Father, I'm going to be late for church on Sunday, I gots some hockey to watch.

Wrap up 

• Current record: 7-4-3
• Team injuries: Methot (back); Lehner (pride)
• Fancy stat of the week: $2,180.09 raised for the Military Families Fund by Sens (and some Leafs) fans through #SensMotB.

#SensMotB: Sens and Leafs

by Bonk's Mullet

In honour of Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, whose life was taken in Ottawa on October 22, 2014, we will hold another Sens Money on the Board game tonight. This game holds special significance as the Ottawa Senators and Toronto Maple Leafs were scheduled to play on the day of the tragedy. This tragedy went beyond hockey and the game was rescheduled for tonight.

All funds raised during tonight's game will be donated to the Canadian Military Families Fund via the Sens Foundation. We encourage everyone from both fan bases to participate in the event. 

The concept is simple: Following the instructions below, make a pledge for an in game event. For example, pledge $8.10 for a Phil Kessel goal, $10 for a Chris Neil fight, or $20 for your team to win.

During last night's Sens-Jets game, over $1000 was raised for the Canadian Military Families Fund, despite the lack of scoring in the game. We hope to add a significant amount to that total tonight. If you wish to carry over your pledge from last night's game, please tweet at @SensMotB.

Additional information can be found here. Here's how to participate:

Sens Money on the Board Pledge/Donation Instructions

1. Pledge: Make your pledge for Ottawa vs. Toronto on Sunday, November 9th with this form. All donations made to the Sens Foundation for Saturday and Sunday's games will be given to the Canadian Military Families Fund.
2. Share: Tweet your pledge to @SensMotB or share with the hashtag #SensMotB.
3. Watch: Watch the game and keep track of your pledge!
4. Check: Check the result of your pledge on this spreadsheet (Note: There is one tab on the spreadsheet for each SensMotB game this season).
5. Donate: Donation form available here. Feel free to donate at any time without making a pledge. Ignore the information above the donation form for the time being, as some of it is out of date.

Sens Money on the Board: Canadian Forces Appreciation Night

by Bonk's Mullet

In reaction to the shootings in Ottawa on October 22nd, the first Sens Money on the Board of the 2014-2015 season will be dedicated to Canadian Military members and their families. In partnership with the Ottawa Senators Foundation, we celebrate the Ottawa Senators' annual Canadian Forces Appreciation night by asking that you make pledges for Saturday's game against the Winnipeg Jets. All proceeds will go to the Canadian Military Families Fund via the Sens Foundation.

Never heard of Sens Money on the Board? It's easy: Make a pledge for something to happen during the game, and if it happens, make the donation. For example, pledge $6.50 for each Erik Karlsson goal, $10 if Chris Neil fights, or $50 for an Ottawa Senators win. You can get as creative or uncreative as you'd like. All the information you need can be found here. Here's how to participate:

Sens Money on the Board Pledge/Donation Instructions

1. Pledge: Make your pledge for Ottawa vs. Winnipeg on Saturday, November 8th with this form.
2. Share: Tweet your pledge to @SensMotB or share with the hashtag #SensMotB.
3. Watch: Watch the game and keep track of your pledge!
4. Check: Check the result of your pledge on this spreadsheet (Note: There is one tab on the spreadsheet per game, including last season).
5. Donate: Donation form available here. Feel free to donate at any time without making a pledge. Ignore the information above the donation form, as most of it is out of date!

Over $14,000 has been donated to the Sens Foundation through Sens Money on the Board since April 2013. If you're interested in donating prizes to be given away to those who donate, please contact Eric Doty at bonksmullet@gmail.com.

Thanks again everyone. Please share this with your friends, families, pets, co-workers, and sworn enemies! Let's make it a big night!

LEAKED: What the dads thought of their road trip

by Joe Boughner

There are perks to living within view of the Canadian Tire Centre. First and foremost, of course, is the ability to walk to games. A close second, however, is that the mighty winds of Kanata often blow directly from the CTC to my doorstep, providing me with a steady supply of partially-deflated thundersticks and - occasionally - a stray piece of mail.

This week's bounty included the usual: rejection letters from Methot's agent, Murray's latest copy of The Low Down to Hull and Back Again (the Outaouais' favourite news source!) and some Costco coupons. But as I was dumping it into my blue bin I saw a plain envelope addressed, in pen, to Mr. Melnyk with no return address.

<BuzzfeedVoice>You'll never believe what was inside!</BuzzfeedVoice>

Week 5 Preview - Woah That's A Lot of Games This Week

By: Chris

Introduction

After a decent week that saw the Sens beat Columbus, pick up the loser point against a dominant Blackhawks team, and lose to the Bruins, Ottawa returns home for 4 games in 6 nights. The Sens are currently 5-3-2, and sit one point back of the 2nd wildcard spot with one game in hand.

"Finally, we can clap and smile!" New supporter section an overwhelming success

by Mike Wheeler

Fans who have come to love Sparty's "Fan Silencing" routines may be in for a bit of a surprise this season.

When heading out to an Ottawa Senators game, fans have come to expect the kind of atmosphere that has made the Canadian Tire Centre known around the league: deafening silence. Known as "the library of the NHL," the CTC regularly hosts upwards of 20,000 fans of other teams as well as civil servants who got tickets from their boss and they all just want to enjoy a nice, quiet hockey game. But all of that is changing this year with the addition of new rules for section 319, or the "supporter section."