Week 1 Preview: Ottawa Kicks Off Season Against Nashville and Tampa Bay

by Chris and kinda also Steve but not really

Hey guys, we're back!

Like you, I am shocked that we were renewed for another season. After the blog did surprisingly well in its first year and racked up literally tens of Facebook likes, we've decided the smartest thing to do would be to make some big changes. Rather than putting out a Photoshop Preview for every game, we have decided to do weekly previews every Monday morning! *tweets calling us lazy rain from sky*

The Preview team is looking solid. The trio of Gainsy/Steve/Kevin remains but we have added Matt and Chris to the mix.

Let's invent some story lines get started!

Oct 9: Nashville Predators

The Sens kick things off with a bang on Thursday against the Predators. David Legwand returns to Nashville for the first time since being traded to Detroit on March 5, 2014.

Stories To Watch For

Derek Roy vs. Cody Ceci: Which Orleans native has gotten the most tummy aches from over-eating at the Garlic King? Which player most likely has a Garlic King sticker on the back of their phone case? Does Cody Ceci have the jingle that the Garlic King's van plays as he drives around Ottawa stuck in his head right now? Has Derek Roy found better garlic potatoes at one of his many stops around North America throughout his long career? (He definitely hasn't.)

"I could not hear what Cody said...'cause I had a monster-sized donair shawarma and a diet coke....plugging my ear."

David Legwand vs. Anton Volchenkov vs. Mike Fisher vs. Matt Cullen: Which player looks in the best shape for the old-timers game at the inevitable 2017 Nashville vs. Ottawa Winter Classic? Will Mike Fisher lace up for Ottawa or Nashville? How will David Legwand feel about being the only Nashville player anybody has ever heard of? 

How will Nashville rookie and Ottawa native Victor Bartley do in his first game against the Senators?: Huh? What's that? This is Bartley's third year in the league? Ok never mind moving on.

Will Zack or Colin prove to be the better Smith that wears #15 ad plays center?: Boy....this post is gonna be over sooner than...thAN...KiM KAdrASHIAN'S MARRIAGE *is dragged offstage by an angry mob*

Will David Legwand pass Martin Lapointe as the Senator to most resemble a pirate?: It seems like every hockey fan is excited for the verdict on this one. Reports are that the announcement will be made after Gary Bettman confirms that it is October and everyone can stop using #IsItOctoberYet.

Yes, he played for us. This is not photoshopped.

This one is actually photoshopped.

If that didn't get you excited for the opener, I don't know what will. Luckily, Ottawa's second game comes against a heated division rival!

Oct 11: Tampa Bay Lightning

Stories To Watch For:

Tampa Bay's Insane Group of Offensively Talented Forwards vs. The Sens Defense: As if Stamkos wasn't enough to handle, Tampa's forward group has some unbelievably slick forwards in Ondrej Palat, Tyler Johnson, Alex Killhorn, Valterri Filppula, Nikita Kucherov, as well as rookies Jonathan Drouin, Vlad Namestnikov and Brett Connolly. 

Can you imagine this guy coming in 1-on-1 on Chris Phillips?

Speaking of defense, Tampa Bay picked up Jason Garrison and Anton Stralman this summer. I mean, sure, they may not have the best cost-per-point around, but how good are these guys going to be this year?

How Bad Their New Jerseys Are: Unfortunately Tampa will not be wearing their new 3rd jersey against the Sens this game, but I really wish they had. A few weeks ago, the Lightning decided to hop on the "unfunny hidden camera prank videos" trend that's currently rocking Youtube's stale community of 13 year-olds by filming their player's reaction to a fake new jersey.

Admittedly, some of the player's reactions were actually pretty funny. From Radko Gudas thinking that it was siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick (in a good way, doode), to J.T. Brown looking almost afraid of saying he didn't like it, to Anton Stralman's game changing suggestion of having maybe just one row of palm trees instead of three. Not to mention it sort of parodies team's shameless marketing techniques of cashing in on third jerseys that vaguely include some element specific of their home city. 

None of those player's actually seemed to think it was a joke, mostly likely because of the quality of some the Lightning's previous 3rd jerseys.

Lookin' good, Wendel!

And of course, the day following this prank the Lightning officially unveiled their actual 3rd jersey, which to the surprise of hopefully nobody, was awful.

The jersey is is basically their preview BOLTS 3rd, but with more black. A lot more.

It's almost like if the Sens revealed the black Heritage Jersey in 2012 except instead of an 'O' it said 'SENS".

Now imagine if the 'A' was a 'C'

I don't know how we could possibly recover from that, so let's end here. Go Sens!