Sunday, April 13, 2014

Game Summary - Game 82: A Happy Ending to a Sad Story

by Steve On Sens and Bonk's Mullet


The Mullet: "Hey Steve, seeing as how bad this season has been, it seems only fitting if you do the summary to end the year"
Steve: "I don't know..."
The Mullet: "I'll snag you a Paddy's Pub keychain from the Philly airport next time I'm in Ottawa"
Steve: "You're a good man Doty. I'll do it."

1st Period

16:42 - Robin Lehner makes a save off of a deflected puck. Chris Cuthbert refers to him as "The Lehner". We liked "The Lehner" before it was mainstream.

10:36 - Chris Neil drops the gloves with Tanner Glass. Not the first Senator to punch glass.


5:14 - Jussi Jokinen redirects a pass that squeaks through Lehner. Goal horn goes on about 10 seconds late. Poor guy probably fell asleep. 1-0 Pittsburgh

Seconds later - NHL GameCenter notifies me that the schedules for the playoffs have been released.

1:21 - Kyle Turris beats Zatkoff with a shot that appears to catch him off guard. At least he beat his 2048 score on the play. 1-1

0:10 - Erik Karlsson gets hit in the mouth with a Beau Bennett stick...Karlsson still looks très Beau! Colin Greening gets a penalty. 

Intermission Report - Apparently chewing tobacco flew out of Karlsson's mouth after getting hit with the stick. Another reason why @wheelingprobs loves him.

2nd Period

We'll save you some time here. Two notable events take place in the second:

14:44 Lee Stempniak tips a Beau Bennett shot that beats Lehner. 2-1 Pittsburgh

2:44 - After some pretty passing on the power play, Mark Stone buries a rebound. 2-2

3rd Period

Editor's Note: Bonk's Mullet decided to spare Steve from the pain of summarizing this game and to turn to Twitter for material for the rest of the summary.
What a great one-two punch!
Well Steph, the bedazzling job was shoddy as Robin Lehner's eyebrows fell off after one wear!
Neilsi% is actually calculated as (Leadership + Offsides + Failed wraparounds) / Scoring chances. Neil's Neilsi% is... DIV0 ERROR.
Excellent question Zach! Chet is actually wanted in seven countries for his involvement in an off-shore banking scandal. Lucky for him, all seven countries believe he is a Nigerian prince.
1. Taking a good hard look in the mirror.
2. Reading BonksMullet.com. Seriously, we'll be here all summer!
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2.

Sens fans also took to Twitter to thank everyone for following along all season.
And some decided to recount their favourite 2013-2014 memories.

Oh yeah, the game! In what seems like a microcosm of the whole season, this one is dragged out way longer than anyone would ever hope for. We're off to a shootout!

Shootout

Pittsburgh
Bennett - Misses
Jokinen - Misses

Ottawa
Turris - Scores
Spezza - Picks up the puck

Thanks everyone!

Thanks a lot from everyone here at BonksMullet.com. I founded the site under a year ago and since then we've added 6 amazing writers/photoshoppers/glorified homeless people in Chet, Kevin, Luke, Gains, Brochenski, and Steve. We're super thankful for everyone who reads our stuff, and we look forward to bringing you trash material all summer.

Please leave all of your praise and worship in the comment section. Thanks!
       
- The Crew at BonksMullet dot com
at Sunday, April 13, 2014
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