by Chet Sellers
No! But don't worry, we've got another EXCLUSIVE here at RBM! It’s an excerpt from negotiations between Daniel Alfredsson and Bryan Murray on a phone call we intercepted via undersea cable!
MURRAY: Listen, let’s not drag this out. Given what you mean to the franchise, and the sacrifices you’ve made in the past, and looking at what guys like Jagr and Selanne make, we’d like to offer you one year at $4.5M. What do you say, does that get us there?
ALFREDSSON: Two years.
MURRAY: Really? Well if you’re feeling good enough to commit to two years, we’re more than happy to offer two years at $9M. Sound good?
ALFREDSSON: Two years, $5M.
MURRAY: Each? So $10M?
ALFREDSSON: No, two years, $5M total.
MURRAY: Are you serious?
ALFREDSSON: And you sign or trade for two top-six wingers that each score at least 60 points a year.
MURRAY: Oh, I don’t know about that. Those guys are usually so expensive, and you know we’ve got this tight budget this year . . . let’s just focus on you, okay?
ALFREDSSON: Two years, $4M, two wingers.
MURRAY: How about two years, $11M, no wingers?
ALFREDSSON: Okay, one year, $1M, and one winger, but he has to be a really good one.
MURRAY: Latendresse is available.
ALFREDSSON: No.
MURRAY: Two years, $12M.
ALFREDSSON: I feel like we’re not connecting here. Hang on, I have another call. It’s a 617 number.
MURRAY: Alright, alright, let’s split the difference. Two years, $9M, and I promise I’ll trade Jim O’Brien for somebody.
ALFREDSSON: Come on. Somebody good?
MURRAY: You see what I got for Brian Elliott?
ALFREDSSON: Deal.
MURRAY: Great, let me call Eugene, hang on . . . he says great, and he’s happy to have you back. His only ask is that you also agree to do a Canadian Tire commercial where you drive over the garden hose and you can’t believe how strong it is.
ALFREDSSON: One commercial, one winger.
MURRAY: Okay, no commercial.